Another Confession of Mine....

My 1st Confession is about my Weight complains...And now this is something else that maybe it brings a bad thing to me....Ok....now my 2nd confession is.....Now I like to get / Easily Angry even More than I thought...

I really don't know how did I start to get angry so bad untill I feel like want to ended my life like seriously....maybe I've learnt from someone or I saw on the TV or see people get angry with thier wives / husbands and even children....I guess it's not a big deal.....But to me...it is something serious and I just don't know how to avoid it.....

1st thing is due to Stress...Hell Yeah..I can get nuts out of that! 

2nd thing is I felt Neglected...always felt alone...even with my mom or my dad...(since my parents decide to seperate)...my whole daily life is just on the computer, my handphone, TV & bla bla bla bla.....

3rd thing...when things not worked out.....I will get angry, say bad stuff & so on....like yesterday at wiork....last minute customer say want to add 1 more person where there's only just a couple of days goin to a trip......haiz...every work is done...but...just this small matter I can easily get angry so much! I felt worst....I felt bad...but those bad feelings inside me is gone.....I holding a grundge around me....Like I memang tak puas hati sangat!

Haiz....it's a bad thing...Hmmm....even My bf says that I dh pandai marah2 org.... Yeah....Guess I know how to get angry easily....My heart & my soul tak tenang.....I felt suffering....Suffocated...Tired of all this shit!

I had Enough of it............... 

My Biggest Confession....

I have a biggest confession in my entire life......I am now FAT... =( ...I eat when I'm stressed, I eat when I feel like it, I eat again2 & again although I am not that hungry, I say senang hati, but actually I am not that senang hati...I am shamed of myself till this day...I looked all my old pics & I realize that I am slim actually...But deep in my heart that I am not that Slim as I thought...That feeling inside of me..I need to release it....I should look at the bright size...but I didn't...I miss my body those days...Now I felt betrayed....Eating when stressed is very silly though....Even most of everybody is now comparing my body to them...which it hurts my heart the most...Hmm....Yeah...I guess..I am really That FAT! heavier than my mom I Think....I want my old body back!! But it's not easy.....Losing the fat aren't EASY...Gaining fat is EASY... I felt lazy & so on...But things gets worst now....My period is irregular now days... Maybe it's because That I do complain a lot bout the pain & cramps during period I even say "Why my period have to come today?! Sheeeshh!! Hate it la...Hate this pain!!" I guess I know why it came late (It's Not what u think, ok??) I guess i missed that pain...Even my bf says that pain is a greatness from God "Bersyukur la...BerSyukur la sikit sakit tu" I now realize what pain inside me is really all about I take it back & I'm scared that I won't be able to have kids in the future...Eating healthily is not that cheap as you think...Eating not healthily is cheaper than you think...Even my mom says "hani...makan la"...like so many times....& I did eat just to pleased her even I am not that Hungry...Oh God...I should take back my bad habits....Now controlling my food is hard..Temptation around me is greater than what it seems...Hmmm....Dear Allah, Please give me strenght to avoid this yummy foods around me.....I need to diet, ya know.....I am heavy now.... Way TOO HEAVY....Hmmm......Next routine...DDR EVERYDAY!!! & That's Final!! I rest my case from now.....Just watch me!

For those who read this & for those who is like me....That it's not too late to change.....There is time to Make a change in you..It is NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE....No PAIN NO GAIN! DON't GIVE UP!

*Peace* ^_^v

( errr......i want my dance step back hunny... >.<)

~Introduction Pt.2~

Ok..Now we're done reading part 1 so now here's part 2 of myself....I maybe mis blood but don't expect me to know all the languages of my races...LOL...I do get that a lot...If people say if I'm mix blood & I say yes and they asked what others?? I say Fillipino..And they were like...OMG!! Can you understand Tagalog...Can you speak like one....?? I was like....Errrmmm...sorry...I didn't know that much...I can understand much...Like for example..When my mom gets angry...hahahha..Paham-paham sudey...LMAO!! Hmmm...Ok change the topic...Hmmm...What ya'll wanna know bout me?? Hmmm....Ok...I love to do things differently...Hard to explain....LOL....I just do what I can...And I like to help people...Resolving problems or a friend or a couple..(LOL...yeah..I did it like a lot...But most of the time being a middle - person is really painful than you thought...So my advice is....Don't be like that...Or else you'll end up hurting your self like I did..Sigh) And yeah...If I bored..I'll get bored like "BAM!!!"  Lazy!!! LOL...I work entirely everyday (Full time & part time Work) Yeah.....If I never go hang out with friends, watch movie or go Shopping..I'll get crazy for sure..... >.<" I can't work everyday like I'm some kind of a robot....LOL...I am a human with a weak heart but a strong faith...Yeah that's me....LOL...I can cry for no reason...But if I do have a reason...I'll never think I wasted it...hehehehe...So I guess that's enough for my part 2 of my introduction..I can give more...But later la yeah?? Need to work some changes in my blog..LOL.....XD

~Introduction Pt.1~

Hi..My name is Valerie..I was born in 10 September 1990 ( Virgo that is )..I love Music, Travelling, Explore Things New, Dance, Sing ( I'm not a good singer though...LOL ). I spend my school life transferring for almost everywhere exept Sabah, Sarawak & Brunei...LOL...At first I din't really like my self a lot....I used to get bullied by the boys & some girls in school...Teasing me is the most frequent happened in my whole life...Even when I was a child my OWN relative would kicked me out of my grandma's house for no reason....Owh..didn't I tell you that I'm half Malaysian?? My race is Malaysian, Fillipino, American, Hispanic...I thought I only Half Malaysia half Fillipino......LOL...I just knew that...LOL... Since I moved again in Selangor...Into a new school I was thought Hmmmm.....another boring day in my life....The good thing is I can meet a new friend...At that time...I found some confidence in me...I am not alone.....There's some people who is the same race as me....Malaysian, Fillipino....I am happy that I won't get bullied so badly like those days....I have a good memories & bad memories in that school....No matter what just keep moving on right?? I already finished my SPM at 2007..Now is 2011....WOW.....Can you imagine how time flies fast enough in just a flick on a finger & the year is 2011...LOL....& I am 21 Yrs Old!! Suprisingly...I don't feel like 21..LOL...Owh well..however... I've changed...I'm not like last time.....Now I am in love with my best friend....2 years plus & still growing & lovingly...And that's not gonna change....=)